IT TOOK ME FUCKING TEN MINUTES TO DO THIS FUCK:

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This is a picture of a book stuck in my ass I took ten minutes ago:

I’d tell you about last night but I don’t remember much. So in the comments could you please tell me what happened last night.

I may of made out with a tranny - just want confirm/deny on this.

Also crawled under the gates of Home Sweet Home, this is confirmed.

“This is why you white girls always be in the news”

Ever just give yourself like a really good multiple orgasm while masturbating and just wanna give yourself a high five. Well. I just did. That’s all. Vaginas are so much fun. I would hate having a penis - I feel like boys can’t be as creative with their masturbation. Also once you blow your load your OUT. Girls on the other hand can masturbate for hours.

On that note I started an erotic wish list. You know, incase anyone wants to buy me…

Pear cuffs so you can restrain me and do whatever your please to me while I still look like a lady. I am also down with the collar and leash. Or there’s the…

The Cone. Seriously this thing is just crazy. I have to try it. It’s like sybian but better designed to not look so scary and less bulky so you can hide it under the bed…

Just so I can say I own a pink dolphin shape vibrator? Is that weird. Yea that is weird. But I own a Hello Kitty vibrator so how much weirder can I get.

I like this strap on because it’s so girly. Most are black and kind of intimidating.

More fun that wii ?

I’m kind of toying with the idea of making videos where I test out sex toys and rate them and actually have footage of me using them. Hmm.

Anyways lets make Christmas happen again peeps!

PS I think I MIGHT of nixed the stripper pole idea…I’m not real sure where to put it yet…

I didn’t really take many pictures while in Fl. Sorry mom!!!

Hopefully Yumna uploads the dope ones she took.

Anyway see my new additions to my toy collection - THEY’RE SAINTS. And you get them out of the .50 machine - like homies but holy. So ill.

Also check Fungis Fl souvineir:

It’s a bouncy ball! Made to look like an orange! YAY

Exscuse my I’ve been traveling all day barely wearing makeup and drinking drugged face

So happy to be back with my loves[Fungi + Wolf tmrrrr].

OH AND GUESS WHAT I GOT TESTED TODAY AND I DONT HAVE HIV

HIGH FIVE MOTHAFUCKAAAAS

Wooo anyways I’m back in nyc. I missed home terribly despite being with my best girl.

Some crazy video chats went down but I’m not aloud to talk about them.

PornBy.Us

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!

So I finally gave in to my curiosity and brought the notorious sex toy…the rabbit.

Maybe it’s the fact that the Sex and the City Trailer was just released. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been curious about this fucking thing years. None the less, I was Christmas shopping and impulse brought a Rabbit.

Within a few minutes of having it in me .. I orgasmed. It was good …. just uh …. you know how there’s an orgasm and than There’s an ORGASM. It was the former.

The rabbit is like fast food for you sex drive. It’s quick, it’s cheap* and satisfying but you know there’s better.

You know there’s higher quality sex toys out there that don’t reference childhood petting zoos. You know the true satisfaction that comes from building up an orgasm? You don’t get that with the rabbit. It’s quick and easy. Too Easy.

So it looks like I’m still more a Kiki De Montparnass girl than a 24 hour sex store on 8th ave girl when it comes to toys.

PS as far as KDM goes…I’m soooo lusting this! Can you imagine? It’s sooo decadent! I love the platform…put your sexuality out there people and fucking display it on a shelf. Just don’t forget to dust it! Or this..how gorgeous! They’re lingerie is stunning as well…I must stop by their store sooner rather than later.

In other sex toy news I still haven’t received my Hello Kitty vibrator! Ugh I hate ebay and the Bushwick postal services. Complications…. I just want my Hello Kitty vibrator… It’s going to look so perfect next to me Hello Kitty tv when I get it!

Christmas is so lovely. I absolutely adore buying gifts for my family and friends and than packaging them all lovely. I went shopping today and got about 1/2 done with my shopping. I need more ribbons and paper though.

Sigh

I just absolute adore Christmas in NYC. It’s so much fun going to the special fairs[union sq, grand central, Bust if I make it…]. And the snow just looks so magical against the decorations. And the windows! Oh the windows…I’ve yet to go looking yet but as a child I would always go see a few windows and a musical almost every December.

Happy Holidays and Sexing!

xo Baby S.

*cheap = under $80….sorry!

So I dressed up as Lala, my spirit animal, the tellytubbie for Trash. I was go-go-ing and it was pretty great.

I got in a fight within 10minutes of being there because I told a group of eight people they need to move as they were sitting where I needed to dance and I was there to work. They really rude to me and I don’t quite remember what was said but I don’t take disrespect from anyone so the fighter in me came out. I ended up spitting in some fat girls face and telling her that all the gel in her hair could feed all the starving children in Africa. The spitting part kind of put her over the edge and she was about to get physical but it never did. I’m glad mostly because I think if I’m going to get in a fight in a yellow thong leotard I should be getting paid a lot of money for it. I mean - people pay for that sort of thing. I got the group of eight ugly people kicked out[holla - I love Riffis staff - security is the best!] and handful of good looking boys and girls kind of lurked around me after the situation to make sure I was “safe.” That was kind of cute.
But not as cute as Wolf and Big D visting me at work! Nothing better than having your love at work. I left early and we got food at Odessas before going home.

Now that I think of it this isn’t the first time I’ve gotten in a fight at Trash while go-go-ing.

Pictures for people who don’t bother reading what I write:

The makeup was Blade Runner meets LaLa.

Note the yellow ears.

Oh and I got new toys! Yay … I’m so azn sometimes it’s a bit ridiculous and I’m such a little kid at heart forever.

Wolf got me the Hello Kitty and I got the Glommy Bear to celebrate the launch of NerdGirlX[they’re still working out kinks but w/e]. I want my next Gloomy Bear to be the all silver one to match my bedroom.

It’s almost 5am, I fucking fell asleep while doing school work. Again. I did that twice today. Now I can’t remember where I put my phone and Fungi wants to play. Opps. I need more lights in my apartment - especially my desk area so I stop falling asleep. I’m getting a chandelier for my bedroom for free - I’m pretty stoked, ever since I was a little girl I wanted a chandelier.

Ok I’m going to do school work and be productive.