First things first,

I went to the doctor Tuesday. Finally. I sprained something in my knee that starts with a P. I have to take 9 motrin a day[ugh], ace bandage and ice it. Also no skateboarding, jump roping, etc.

And no heels. For a week.

So after the doctors I got a call to come get paid to be an extra in an N.E.R.D. video. And wore heels for 12 hours straight. I was supposed to go back today but I fucked my knee up.

The video shoot was pretty nuts, it’s for the new single “Everybody Nose.” I didn’t realize it was for that NERD aka Pharrell Williams till I got there…BLOND MOMENT. Pretty crazy. Boy is still fine. There were lots of hot guys there actually. I forgot how hot skater guys, streetwear nerds and hardcore kids are. I felt like I was 15 again.

Than I got bored. It was a lot of sitting around. Only people I knew was a former friend from the strip club and Bronques who swung by later. Made friends too. Named someone porn ’stache. Some girls got super wasted and it was a real bad look imo. Losing money and bags and cursing at the production crew for only using guys for the first 12 hours and not letting chicks mosh.

The party scene was pretty dope but everyone was soooo tired and some fame hungry. Some dude kept dry humping me in hopes of extra screen time. I was sucking on my neon key necklace looking vapid and bored because welll I was and the director was like “OMG THAT’S PERFECT.” So there’s some footage of that and than I ended up making out with my old girl pal from the strip club because they asked me too. The director was pretty cool and we told me about middle age women selling sex toys on QVC.

I was supposed to go back on Wednesday but I woke up in soooo much fucking pain that I decided to forgo another paycheck and my chance at video hoe fame to take care of my self.

Responsibility.

Ok so went to Trash last night and Joanna did her awesome adorable burlesque show and rubbed whipped cream all over me. Whipped cream dries just like gizz, I swear…I mean if the porn business needs something to replace cetephil, I guess whipped cream might work. It was awesome to see a bunch of angels - Dusty, Nico, Joanna and Doug[I’m naming him an honoary angel thru this blog hahahah]. I love my girls. The new location is SO MUCH BETTER. I mean I love Home Sweet Home with all it’s taxidermy creatures running amuck but it just wasn’t the home for Trash. 40 ave C is great - comfy tables for hosts, a stage, back room for doing dirty things, nice barstaff. Joanna put out a softcore horror movie dvd, here’s an interview about it and BA:

After Trash which was have mad cop probs, went to a house party at Kelloggs. Things got crazy. I wilded out.
The party tonight has a weird dress code:

I will not obey most likely. I mean I just got a new MOB sweatshirt - I think I want to rock out in pjs and a sweatshirt. Except I don’t own pjs. So I’m gonna be naked in a MOB sweatshirt.

In other Alt porn news the great Eon McKai sent me a box of vivid alt porn and I’ve been watching porn since yesterday afternoon non-stop[with a break for partying]. Vivid Alt really puts out some great porn - here are the trailers from the porn I’ve been watching:

This movie is just awesome because of how real it is.

OMG the Dallas music video is hilarious.

It was also awesome that my girl Pixie Pearl is in half of these movies! I miss you so much, can someone hook this girl up with a phone or plant her in my apt asap!?

I really love that VA includes a dope soundtrack with each movie. I like music. Especially now that I’ve discovered wtf blog house is. Blog house is apparently all that I listen to. Thank you Frog for installing my curtain rod. And Chris for dealing with insanity that is me.
I still have dried whipped cream on my face.
Icky!

It’s true. This is probably the last time I’ll ever go-go because I’m over it. It’s just not as fun as it was when I was 18 and a coke head who had no life outside of school and nightlife.

Anyways Trash changed homes, Joanna will do burlesque, I’ll dance for ten minutes and than get drunk and makeout with three people and have to ask my boyfriend about it in the morning. Here’s the flyer:

If you want to be on my [10 person] comp list[and aren’t normally comp by Daddy B James] get at me before Friday.

And for you kids who don’t like to leave Brooklyn - Joanna Angel is hosting at Savalas on saturday with Michael T dj-ing last I checked.

You’ve reached a new level of class when you get topless at a wedding for a party photographer.

Today I contributed to making a girl cry during a class critique. It’s not my fault that she took muddy b&w snap shots of homeless people and called it photojournalism. Also aren’t critiques for learning you suck? I hate FIT. Except for the sculpture that looks mysteriously like ball sacs in the D building nobody has balls here and people are lazy as fuck. I than made the official decision to stop going to painting because I don’t feel like doing still lives and getting trouble for painting things neon green. I feel sort of hypocritical leaving a class because of a lack of creative freedom and critiquing someone till they teared up. I don’t know.

I spent $100 in paint[spray and latex] at Home Depo. Love that place because they id you but don’t realize that the actual law is 21+[and yes I’ve run into problems buying paint before]. Currently turning the tv bright yellow.

Also learning how to use an electric screwdriver! WOOOOOO

I’m feeling cynical.

Taxi cab drivers in NYC and I have a mutable hate for each other.

Although yesterday things were different.

I was trying to hail a cab outside grand central and of course if you’re not on the cab line it’s almost impossible, finally a cab stops. The cabbie says no intinally[he had to pee!] but after I explain to him that I need to go to class asap and that by taking me he would be contributing to the youth of Americ, he obliges. In the cab we talk. He asks about my septum…does it hurt, did it hurt etc? Somehow talk goes to how I’m going to get my nipples done and nude beaches in nyc[there’s one in the Rockaways]. It was just really fun and awesome for a cabbie to do me favor andnopt be an asshole…instead spend the cab ride like human beings talking and laughing.

Today of course things are back to normal.

I had a bunch of meetings today so I was being a consuier of cabs. Ugh. Every cabbie failed at communication. Finally my last meeting ends and I go to hail a cab at the seaport. It took me almost a half hour because every cab refused to go to Brooklyn…um hi, read your passenger bill of rights - you have to take me where I want to go. I kicked two cabs so hard with my platforms that I left black marks and dents. Maybe I should think about anger management or maybe cabs should follow the rules. I ended up taking a cab to avenue A and first and hailing another cab. Ugh I just wish that drivers weren’t so fucking anti working with you. I have seriously offered double money to get to Brooklyn before and people are just bitchy. And Brooklyn cabs just talk on their phone the whole time and ignore you when you say “Stop here.”

I don’t know. Today was just stressful for so many reasons. Somebody also tried the casting couch shtick on me at a casting. Too bad I don’t fall for shit and you can go to hell. Still it was a waste of my time. Oh well.

I think I need to do something crazy to my hair. We’ll see.

Dances With White Girls / Frog / Daddy 1 has started a dance group. He is looking for dancers. Contact him here.
I won’t be participating because I’m busy with my shit but I support this 100%.

Also EARLY HYPE LETS GO TO THE RAVE EVERYONE:

If you support artists and don’t want them living on the streets and losing their homes please sign this petition.
SIGN ME
Here’s an article regarding the situation.
I’ve shot a good deal of porn here and hung with artists residing there. Everyone is good peoples, please support them and help them out. Thank you.

It’s fucking FREEZING.
Anyways no hatarade this week. I really don’t feel like having people mothers call me anymore. Unless it’s to arrange a playdate because that’s the last time I can remember my mother talking on the phone for me.
Pussy Pussy Pussy
Motherfuckers!
All right I have to go to a meeting…ugh I don’t want to go outside it’s soooo chilly!

edit////

chris caught me cutting my left ear off:

So one year to this day I made a commitment to facing my addiction to cocaine, seeking help, and never again putting that shit up my nose. It’s been a rough years mostly of downs but with a few ups one being what sobriety has granted me…such as being able to separate my true friends from the rest, being able to focus on my school, art and career more seriously, and confront my demons and no longer run from them.

To this day I’ve had one friend die from drug use and another friend whos drug use most defintally contributed to her eventual suicide. I’ve had multiple friends overdose and almost die.

Despite being off cocaine for a year I still have to deal with medical and mental issues that stem mostly from my usage. I lost a year to my life. The year I was addicted to cocaine I barely did anything except party or get high.

To my loved ones, my friends, strangers who read this blog, who still put this drug up your nose[or ass, or inject or smoke it] I ask that you take a serious look at what you’re doing.

“With chronic cocaine intake, brain cells functionally adapt (respond) to strong imbalances of transmitter levels in order to compensate extremes. So receptors disappear from or reappear on the cell surface, resulting more or less in an “off” or “working mode” respectively, or they change their susceptibility for binding partners (ligands) – mechanisms called down-/upregulation. Chronic cocaine use leads to a DAT upregulation, further contributing to depressed mood states. Finally, a loss of vesicular monoamine transporters, neurofilament proteins, and other morphological changes appear to indicate a long term damage of dopamine neurons.

All these effects contribute to the rise in an abuser’s tolerance thus requiring a larger dosage to achieve the same effect. The lack of normal amounts of serotonin and dopamine in the brain is the cause of the dysphoria and depression felt after the initial high. The diagnostic criteria for cocaine withdrawal is characterized by a dysphoric mood, fatigue, unpleasant dreams, insomnia or hypersomnia, E.D., increased appetite, psychomotor retardation or agitation, and anxiety.

Cocaine abuse also has multiple physical health consequences. It is associated with a lifetime risk of heart attack that is seven times that of non-users. During the hour after cocaine is used, heart attack risk rises 24-fold.

Side effects from chronic smoking of cocaine include chest pain, lung trauma, shortness of breath, sore throat, hoarse voice, dyspnea, and an aching, flu-like syndrome. A common misconception is that the smoking of cocaine chemically breaks down tooth enamel and causes tooth decay. However, cocaine does often cause involuntary tooth grinding, known as bruxism, which can deteriorate tooth enamel and lead to gingivitis[citation needed].

Chronic intranasal usage can degrade the cartilage separating the nostrils (the septum nasi), leading eventually to its complete disappearance. Due to the absorption of the cocaine from cocaine hydrochloride, the remaining hydrochloride forms a dilute hydrochloric acid.[1]

Cocaine may also greatly increase this risk of developing rare autoimmune or connective tissue diseases such as lupus, Goodpasture’s disease, vasculitis, glomerulonephritis, Stevens-Johnson syndrome and other diseases.[12][13][14][15] It can also cause a wide array of kidney diseases and renal failure.[16][17] While these conditions are normally found in chronic use they can also be caused by short term exposure in susceptible individuals.

There have been published studies[citation needed] reporting that cocaine causes changes in the frontal lobe of the brain. The full extent of possible brain deterioration from cocaine use is not known.”

Seriously people…why are you still doing cocaine? Why can’t we party without it?

Doesn’t it seem a bit pathetic to only be able to party with addictive illegal substance?

Also keep in mind by supporting your local drug dealer your supporting more than just some asshole who divides up coke and baby aspirin into baggies for a living…you’re supporting addictions, illegal activity, violence, wars that are responsible for the deaths of innocent men and women…

PS I’ve been crying a lot of happy tears since last night.

Bronques is back, I’m back to full health…this is the TRUE RETURN OF TRASH

I’m also pretty stoked to see Little Brooklyn perform again. She’s a real sweetie…and a talented burlesque beauty as well.

Here’s a video of her performing a king kong inspired skit.

Also it was so cold the other day I woke up with Fungi cuddling to me under the covers:

Than while I was trying to check my email she kept obsessively cat-bathing me…so I had to sit her in my lap:

I loooove her so much. Cutest BFF ever.

Last night when I was drunk I brought a shit ton of music by The Carpenters… You gotta admit Close to You is an amazing song. Also there’s something about Dances with White Girls you don’t know about and it’s Changes Lightbulbs for White Girls - his side project. Um here’s what I’m up to this weekend:

Both should be a blast.

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!

So I finally gave in to my curiosity and brought the notorious sex toy…the rabbit.

Maybe it’s the fact that the Sex and the City Trailer was just released. Maybe it’s the fact that I’ve been curious about this fucking thing years. None the less, I was Christmas shopping and impulse brought a Rabbit.

Within a few minutes of having it in me .. I orgasmed. It was good …. just uh …. you know how there’s an orgasm and than There’s an ORGASM. It was the former.

The rabbit is like fast food for you sex drive. It’s quick, it’s cheap* and satisfying but you know there’s better.

You know there’s higher quality sex toys out there that don’t reference childhood petting zoos. You know the true satisfaction that comes from building up an orgasm? You don’t get that with the rabbit. It’s quick and easy. Too Easy.

So it looks like I’m still more a Kiki De Montparnass girl than a 24 hour sex store on 8th ave girl when it comes to toys.

PS as far as KDM goes…I’m soooo lusting this! Can you imagine? It’s sooo decadent! I love the platform…put your sexuality out there people and fucking display it on a shelf. Just don’t forget to dust it! Or this..how gorgeous! They’re lingerie is stunning as well…I must stop by their store sooner rather than later.

In other sex toy news I still haven’t received my Hello Kitty vibrator! Ugh I hate ebay and the Bushwick postal services. Complications…. I just want my Hello Kitty vibrator… It’s going to look so perfect next to me Hello Kitty tv when I get it!

Christmas is so lovely. I absolutely adore buying gifts for my family and friends and than packaging them all lovely. I went shopping today and got about 1/2 done with my shopping. I need more ribbons and paper though.

Sigh

I just absolute adore Christmas in NYC. It’s so much fun going to the special fairs[union sq, grand central, Bust if I make it…]. And the snow just looks so magical against the decorations. And the windows! Oh the windows…I’ve yet to go looking yet but as a child I would always go see a few windows and a musical almost every December.

Happy Holidays and Sexing!

xo Baby S.

*cheap = under $80….sorry!