Finished tiling my dining area today[don’t worry I got rid of the excess you see on the corners!]. Gonna stripe my living area tomorrow in light and dark aquas. I wanna get some astro turf, flamingos and lawn chairs for the dining area tomorrow.

Already trying to figure out finances for a real sofa, not having some freeloader on my extra bed is making me want to throw it out[in the nyc area? want a free bed frame, boxspring and matresss - hit me up] and get a nice sofa.

$450 @ urban I knoooooow but it’d fit so perfectly.

I also want to get rid of the chalkboard wall and get wallpaper! Like in the forest wall paper!

I take waaaaay too much inspiration from club walls from glittering my bathroom[Beauty Bar] to wall paper[green room at hiro]!

New double dildo. Attempting to figure out how much my throat gives.

And how I felt before realizing I hate everyone:

Freckles from the sun!!!! As much fun as blogging is…I’ve stuck to posting free porn lately because I’m just tired of being put on the stake, tired of putting myself out there. I feel as if my every move is watched and judged. Like my family is so proud of me yet the world is just full of haters who think it’s necessary to do everything to hurt me.

I turn 21 soon. For my 21st almost all my extended family from upstate ny comes to NYC see me for my birthday. Does that answer the question of “your family must be so ashamed and hate you” shit?  As for my estranged brother, it has nothing to do with porn. I’m tired of hate mail regarding all this shit.

Seriously at the end of the day. I’m just a girl. With a blog. I’m nothing powerful or crazy or popular, I don’t know why people feel the need to be so fucking cruel.

Full set on flickr[18+ but it’s art ;)]

More here 

There was a man outside my apt handing out condoms yesterday. “Free condoms, protect yourself, if not for you for your loved ones. Protect yourself from stds.”

I wish girls weren’t such stupid cunts. Seriously the majority of women I meet are such followers and so afraid to be themselves it’s incredibly disheartening. I don’t know I need to go to the Box or something and get out of this girl hating rut.

I want to paint over the wall on the other side of my office so bad but I have so many memories attached to it that it seems impossible. I think I want to shoot a couple girls in front of it than do a masturbation video in front of it..maybe than I will be ready to let go. I’m planning on making it into a mini library so the walls will be covered anyways. Maybe I should just designate a tagging wall in the apartment.
It is obscenely warm in NYC today. OBSCENE.

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!

Pictures of my apartment:

Click them to see larger. Yea my apartment got pretty insane after that accidental graffiti party. Big D and Wolf cleaned my chalkboard and I’m covering up A LOT of it but keeping some yet with all the crazy decorating I’m doing in the coming months my apartment will still be nuts. I’m just trying to keep it cleaner.

My baaaaby. And my baaaaaby and Big D after darkroom getting ready to smoke.

Wolf and I went to see the Nightmare Before Christmas in 3D and drank a bottle of whiskey. This was when we got home and smoked and after this I passed out in my Lala leotard. Probably the best Halloween ever. I really hate the crowds of obnoxious people. I almost had an anxiety attack walking by myself on 7th avenue on Halloween night. Wolf gave me a skateboard for Halloween:

I love it. He finger painted it. Its amazing. I’m getting better at skating. I think I need to just spend a hardcore set of time practicing.

Oh and my Aunt sent me a card the other day with pictures of me from when I rode horses with her and my cousin in Ireland…here is one of them:

Lovin my life