I was getting sushi yesertday with my Dad and I was looking at the menu when I noticed something was off:

Someone had taped over one of the rolls and created a Finding Nemo roll.

Pretty great.

This is Fungi looking at Joannas vagina:

I’ll show more from the shoot later in the week.

Also my kitty got fixed and still looks like Frankenkitty:

And lastly here she is hanging out with her Ugly Doll and the unicorn purse Ariel got me<3:

I have a soft spot for porn bloopers. Kink.coms are especially funny:

PS My favorite Kink sites are Hogtied and Training of O.

PSS I updated my wishlist!

OMG

I love pinatas - this cracked me up so bad!

Today I went and had a meeting in Tribeca - to get there I had to walk through Chinatown. I walked down Canal St and really shouldn’t of as I hate that god awful street. It’s full of fat tourists, lazy locals, and the most obnoxius people cat calling and peddling cheap knock off goods towards you. The Canal St subway is no good either - for some reason dudes always get in my face there. Some fat guy was literally 5 inches from face…I could feel his hot nasty breath on my cheek as he cooed “Haaaay mami, you looking good” and I’m surprised I didn’t puke on him. Instead I told him very loudly to “Get the fuck out of my face you fucking scum bag.” Dudes are so whack. I’m sorry but the majority of people with dicks suck. Mostly because you’re lives revolve around them.
Also a little respect for a persons space GOES A LONG WAY.
I than headed uptown to the AIM clinic only to have my blond moment of the day…the clinic requires a $40 cash at your appointment[after the $160 paid online] and I had $20 on me and forgot my debit card at home. So mad. And yea AIM testing is $200, so next time you’re thinking about how much porn people make, keep in mind that we have to pay $200[that no insurance company covers…and porn companies rarely do] to get STD tested and it’s only valid for 30days.

Tomorrow I’m taking Fungi to the vet for shots and to get spayed, than making sure I have $40 and going to get my tests. Ugh.

Also I brought Persepolis, the graphic novel memoir of a Marjane Satrapi about growing up in Iran. It’s amazing - I finished it early this afternoon! I hope the movie lives up to the novel:

My brother sent me these.

Also:

My inboxes are full of lulz.

EDIT///:

erotical? You have kids?

Just got home.

First:

I got my first tattoo ever. LOVE LIFE.

I look like shit - tired…

And also

Lulz for days in my inboxes.

xoxo gossip girl

Thank you Rivika for introducing me to “web-cam-stop-motion-thing.“

Post yours in the comments!!!

I made Easter Eggs the other day! I’m so wholesome.

Fungi is still in love with me.

Chris woke up to me and Fungi playing and watching Fern Gully.

I just vomited red bull and a handful of vitamins which is probably the most uncomfortable thing to puke up but this video made me laugh.

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!