I found this at the thrift store a few weeks ago and finally got around to scanning it in. It’s a vintage bdsm personals magazine from the 80’s - I have a similar mag that I will scan in soon too.

Click each image to see it bigger and better!

The front and back covers.

WARNING - lots of images[so NSFW] after the jump!

MORE AFTER JUMP

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Rize is the new Sparks. More alchol, no orange tongue. Frog just got four free cases. The fridge is full.

These lashes are so annonying. They’re probably be gone by 11pm. Wooo adult drawing and trash!

Ok so went to Trash last night and Joanna did her awesome adorable burlesque show and rubbed whipped cream all over me. Whipped cream dries just like gizz, I swear…I mean if the porn business needs something to replace cetephil, I guess whipped cream might work. It was awesome to see a bunch of angels - Dusty, Nico, Joanna and Doug[I’m naming him an honoary angel thru this blog hahahah]. I love my girls. The new location is SO MUCH BETTER. I mean I love Home Sweet Home with all it’s taxidermy creatures running amuck but it just wasn’t the home for Trash. 40 ave C is great - comfy tables for hosts, a stage, back room for doing dirty things, nice barstaff. Joanna put out a softcore horror movie dvd, here’s an interview about it and BA:

After Trash which was have mad cop probs, went to a house party at Kelloggs. Things got crazy. I wilded out.
The party tonight has a weird dress code:

I will not obey most likely. I mean I just got a new MOB sweatshirt - I think I want to rock out in pjs and a sweatshirt. Except I don’t own pjs. So I’m gonna be naked in a MOB sweatshirt.

In other Alt porn news the great Eon McKai sent me a box of vivid alt porn and I’ve been watching porn since yesterday afternoon non-stop[with a break for partying]. Vivid Alt really puts out some great porn - here are the trailers from the porn I’ve been watching:

This movie is just awesome because of how real it is.

OMG the Dallas music video is hilarious.

It was also awesome that my girl Pixie Pearl is in half of these movies! I miss you so much, can someone hook this girl up with a phone or plant her in my apt asap!?

I really love that VA includes a dope soundtrack with each movie. I like music. Especially now that I’ve discovered wtf blog house is. Blog house is apparently all that I listen to. Thank you Frog for installing my curtain rod. And Chris for dealing with insanity that is me.
I still have dried whipped cream on my face.
Icky!

Thank you Rivika for introducing me to “web-cam-stop-motion-thing.“

Post yours in the comments!!!

Photo by Kelly Lind.

I stopped by the office today and nabbed a picture from LA. Video will be edited and out within a couple months. I’ll keep you’ll updated.

xoxo

gossip girl

IT TOOK ME FUCKING TEN MINUTES TO DO THIS FUCK:

Take the Which Britney Spears are You Quiz at QuizRocket.com!
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This is a picture of a book stuck in my ass I took ten minutes ago:

I’d tell you about last night but I don’t remember much. So in the comments could you please tell me what happened last night.

I may of made out with a tranny - just want confirm/deny on this.

Also crawled under the gates of Home Sweet Home, this is confirmed.

“This is why you white girls always be in the news”

I did cricket crushing video yesterday!

It was actually pretty fun and kind of stress reliving to talk down to them and crush them. I do find the crunch noise of them being smooshed a bit icky.

If any of my fellow fetish models are interested in doing this - contact me. I’ll hook you up with the job[$].

I’m going to DC next week for some performance art of sort at a club…uh it’s hard to explain and I’m not really supposed to talk about it. I’ll post the flyer when we get closer to the week.

I am not looking forward to school starting next week. Ugh.

Going to sleazy sex stores by yourself is an experiance if you’re an attractive young girl.  Men hit on you, or just look at you strangely and with hungry sexual eyes. The salesmen are always the sweetest though, sometimes even cutting you a deal. Anyways went shopping last night - got some new lingerie, an Andrew Blake dvd, and a vibrating cock ring mostly because the packaging was awesome:

Ok guys. I’m out - come see me at Trash tonight - I want lots of dollars in my pussy!

Happy Friday!

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!

So. Trash will never be at Riffi ever again. Very sad. I love Riffi - so many fond fond fond memories there. We relocated Trash to Beauty Bar on Friday which was pretty fun. We pretty much had this mini Trash in the front, with Najy and I go-go-ing on the chairs and everyone from Trash dancing around us while Alex and Jess dj-ed in the booth next to us. It was awesome, I made dope money in tips too. I also got wasted.

Pixie came by, and eventually Wolf, Big D and Bradley all came to Beauty Bar to pick me up. I told Pixie to buy me a Coors Light 40 even though the only 40’s I drink are malt liquor… I made macaroni and cheese and that’s all I remember. I passed out. Pixie apparently tried to convince Bradley and Big D not to sleep on the floor but the thing is…they like sleeping on floors. That’s their natural habitat.

Hung out with Pixie all day Saturday which was amazing since I haven’t in forever. My cat hates her for some reason…I really need to convince Fungi that Pixie is awesome. She was also here for me when my internet company tricked me into giving them $130…

Wolf and I went on a date and saw Blade Runner at Sunshine. And yes…it’s true, if I were a sex robot I would be Pris. Pris totally dresses like a sluttier version of me. We ate food, went home, went naked bodega sprinting[in my head], smoked weed and I went to sleep in my loooooves arms.

And than I woke up in them. : )

Everyone should listen to this drunk dial I left Yumna. CLICK HERE TO LISTEN.

Highlights:

” anyways…omg..iqefdkewii i forgot i cant this is beautiful on our friendship motherfuck i hope i wrote it down in my moleskin….motherfuckejwgoihsz RAARRRRsffv”

“chicken nugget and my boyfriend and by chicken nugget i mean shake n bake and by shake n bake i mean those girls that get those nasty ass tans…”

“me you and shamu…it’s gonna be so hot…END OF MESSAGE”

Yea I leave epic drunk voicemails.

The following were all in my cells inbox this morning:

“I just watched a bee die in my lamp and now all I can hear u walking thru the floor above me“

“Tonight I recieved a reward from Jesus“

“Ima go eat a potato ball and drink a 22 then put some air in my bike and come over. Ill feel bad if we fuck but maybe I can kinda jerk of an punch u in face at same time“

Kind. of. Hilarious.

Very happy its getting cold out. I love Fall. I like cuddling under my quilt in my underwear drinking hot toddy and watching films.
I just went and brought a thing of whiskey…emmm hot toddy time.
And for those of you not raised by a pack of wolves/Irish folks…this is how you make one:

• One - two shots of whiskey[Jameson preferred], a spoonful of honey, hot water and a tea bag[English breakfast tea preferred] and a slice of lemon if you have it.

And this recipe is a total cure all - common cold, laryngitis, flu, cancer, the clap….the hot toddy cures all.
Or at least makes you drunk enough to forget what ails you.
And they feel damn great after a cold rainy or snowy day.

Emmm I kind of want an Irish coffee with Baileys now too. SO GOOD!

I have the hot alcholic drinks, quilt, films - I just someone to cuddle with!

[Fungi isn’t cutting it]