Here’s some advice for people living on peoples couches for free:

• If they ask you to help around the house don’t half ass it or procrastinate or just never do it.
• Help with cleaning. Especially when an insane fly problem happens.
• Contributing to things like buying food, toilet paper or replacing a tea kettle if you melt the whistle on it would be helpful.
• Do not interfere with their work schedule[yep there’s a reason why my cam schedule didn’t work out this weekend].
• Don’t sit around being pissy because you’re coming off E and there are people trying to have lives around you.
• Do not take over parts of their apartment to the point that the owner can no long use these parts.
• Get your shit together.
• Lastly, do not say 10x a day how you hate the cat. Don’t like my cat? Don’t live here.

I promise I’ll have a real cam schedule in the next couple weeks. Unfortunately I can’t cam-hoe it up next weekend since I’m going on vacation.

And I’m pretty much fuck it today because I’m in a bad mood and now that I’ve bagged said persons shit I got a whole ‘nother part of the apartment to sweep, mop, dust and organize. And please don’t email me saying you want to clean my apartment…it’s great that total strangers want to come here and clean and I’m grateful but I kind of don’t want to invite people into my apartment that I don’t know to clean my apartment because I’m a porn girl.

In my last post it came to my attention that some women don’t enjoy giving head. I think most of this comes down to the habits of the male.

1. Keep your pubic hair trimmed. I personally don’t believe it’s necessary to shave as most men don’t have the sense to properly shave their hair and end up covered in razor burn, which is just as unappealling as seeing herpes blisters on your dick.
2. Foreskin. Do you have one? I hope so because I like them when they’re nice and clean. Make sure you clean it properly.
3. Testicles. You most likely have two - congratulations but have you ever put your face within a foot of stinky sweaty balls? It is quite possibly the reason that last girl vomited while giving you “deep-throat.” There is nothing wrong or awkward about washing your balls before sex. In fact it’s courteous and hygienic. Please boys, you know your balls are sweaty and smelly, I want to enjoy pleasuring them so wash up.
4. You know what? Make sure you’re just fucking clean in general. Seriously boys, didn’t your mama tell you need to shower every day.
5. Communication is key. Do not go rough on a girl unless she likes it. Just because in porn men face fuck the shit out of women doesn’t mean you can. Always discuss what you and your partner enjoy in bed before it goes down, keep in mind one girls idea of submissive and your idea of submissive may differ. If she’s doing something you like - tell her.
6. Mind your manners. Not every girl can deep throat so do not put pressure on a women to perform in way she’s uncomfortable with. Many women find having their head pushed down towards your dick degrading and rude. Please and thank you still mean something.

Follow these simple rules and you’ll never get your chick off your dick.

Photo courtesy of Deep Throat Love.

 REMEMBER GUYS RUBBER IT UP!

 A continuation of this post….

It was definitely helpful. So you said you had sexual experiences with both man and woman when you were around 16? And this helped you decide?

Because I’m 18, and I haven’t had any sexual experiences yet. It’s  not that I don’t want to have sex, it’s just that I haven’t found a mature guy that I like (I’m sure you remember high school guys). I feel strongly, however, about knowing myself in the sexual sense (i.e. what pleases me, what my limits are-if any) very well. Even though I’m not sexual active yet, I think I have this. And I’ve felt attracted to women and to men (more men than women so far), but it’s hard to say if I am bi or not because I haven’t had sex with either. 

If you don’t mind me asking, what were your first sexual encounters like with both sexes?

Again, what you said was very helpful. I think I’m going to take your advice and keep admiring the female form and celebrating its beauty. I admire your art a lot, and it’s inspired me.

Thanks again!

Yes, by the age of 16 I had experimented in one way or another with both sexes which led me to examine and discover my sexuality. I don’t think I really became 100% confident in my sexuality till over a year ago, I was coming off a two day coke bender and I became convinced I was lesbian and my family was going to disown me[so not true]. I went to rehab three days later and got clean. When asked if I was gay or straight during intake, I stared blankly and said I didn’t like to label myself. My counselor told that was fine and I realized it was. Having a sane and sober mind allowed me to reevaluate a lot of things in my life including my sexuality.
I am bi-sexual. I am attracted to both sexes. It’s that simple. And I suppose that complicated as well.
Although you’ve yet to have any sexual experiences with a partner I think you are capable of knowing your sexuality. But only you know what that is.

As for my first sexual experiences….wow, I actually had to think hard about this. I had my first kiss with a boy at twelve and when I was fourteen I gave my first hand job. My boyfriend didn’t really want it, he wanted to take things slow but I did my thing and he didn’t stop me. My first sexual experiance with those of the female persuasion was at a sleepover when I was thirteen. We were playing truth or dare, doing things like french-kissing, flashing, even groping each others breasts. It was then that it dawned on me that I was sexually attracted to women. These silly dares turned me on and felt more like foreplay than a childish game.

xoxo Sinead

Hey,

-[name withheld]
Firstly thank you for coming to me for advice, it’s extraordinarily flattering.

I first became aware of my sexuality around the time I turned twelve and hit puberty. I remember being briefly convinced in seventh grade, that I must be a lesbian because I had more crushes on girls than boys. Even before I lost my virginity I thought about sex a lot and explored my sexuality through the internet, books and alone time. Once I became sexually active at the age of 16 - with both boys and girls, I started thinking a lot about what I was. Was I gay? Was I straight? Bi? Would I marry a man? And if I did would I stop being attracted to women?
I eventually came to accept myself as a women who just didn’t see gender when it came to sexual attraction. After learning about Dr. Kinsey’s research I have to say I agree with the Kinsey scale of sexuality. The scale says that one can be essentially heterosexual or homosexual, or lean more towards one sex than the other. Sexuality is not black and white. Also your sexuality can and most likely will change throughout your life.
I do not like labels, although for a society that often necessitates them I will say that I am bisexual.
You should actively pursue people you are attracted to, do not let silly things like labels and genders get in the way. Don’t restrict yourself to any one gender because you might just miss someone special if you do.

My interest in erotic and artistic nudity began at a very young age. I was raised not to be ashamed of the human body. My parents had this beautiful painting of a nude woman in their bedroom. It was beautiful and I would look at it for hours. The female resembles my mother when she was younger, and is in a barely there torn dress on rocks with a breast exposed. Her hair is blowing in the wind, she’s sitting on a rock and appears to be somewhere like Ireland. My parents also allowed me to watch R-rated movies at a young age not shielding me from nudity but rather violence. Because I was exposed to the female form in my different shapes I truly recognized it as something to not be ashamed of. I started reading my Grandmothers massive stacks of vintage Vogues at the age of eight, which further showed me how the female figure could be used to create art. I was also raised as an artistic child not only creating, but consistently studying art from a young age and seeing the nude human form throughout art.
I took up photography at the age of thirteen. By the age of 16 I had discovered my body as something amazing and feminine [although I was still insecure and uncomfortable with it in the way all teenagers are]. I was already taking pictures of my life, friends, adventures and of course myself so I began to explore my nude body in pictures. Some were quite nice especially for my age. Of course no one but me, my ex-boyfriend and a select few girlfriends will ever see them as they are “child pornography.”
I hope that answers your questions.

xoxo

Foreign Safe Sex Awarness Ads:

Seriously kids - get std tests! Frequently.

AND USE A RUBBER.

Be safe.

And don’t be afraid to shout “IM AIDS FREE” around Frog on the street. It’s ok.

PS Planned Parenthood is awesome - I have never had a bad experiance there, they are always sweet as possible and very sensitive to the issues at hand. When I was 17 I unfourtantly had to have an abortion[due to lack of knowlage that antibiotics fuck with birth control], my gynecologist made me cry and was cruel. Planned Parenthood was friendly and provided me with a multitude of choices[not just abortion…they provide family planning as well].

I highly recommend and promote safe and positive sex lives.

xo baby

PS favorite condom brand - Kimono! Quite lovely…

• I spent the morning of the 24 puking for about eight hours straight due to food poisoning. Family came over for dinner and I almost passed out during desert. Awesome!
• My mother gave me a coffee maker. I do not drink coffee[avid tea drinker] but she brought it so that when she comes to my apartment she can drink coffee. Apparently the thing of instant coffee I keep around isn’t good enough. It’s kind of hilarious in  a way I suppose..
• On the other hand I got some ill gifts - a shit ton of nozzles for spray painting from my brother and a le tigre dress I had my eye on and told my mother. The way that thing hugs my body without being revealing - dammmmn girl.
• And my gifts were well loved - I brought my mom an assortment of nice lotions that she would probably kill me if she knew how much I spent on them. Only the best of the best for Mommy though!
• Also Pee Wee Herman - no wonder I’m so fucking gay. GAY GAY GAY. I’m sorry. I’m just loving the word Gay lately. You know what todays secret word of the day is? GAY. You know what you do when I say GAY. SCREAM. GAY AHHHHHH.
• I want to smuggle my parents cat Tippy home because he is so overweight and awesome but every time they catch me bagging him they yell at me. But seriously he’s just like a giant cuddle monster pillow.

I mean really
HOW COULD THAT NOT MAKE YOU HAPPY
Just cont on with it via YouTube - the WHOLE christmas special is there!
Yay!

First things first. Today is Olivas and Is two year anniversary of know each other. I am honoring it with this picture of us at MoFo 2005:

M at Darkroom was more packed than I thought. When ever I look at pictures of it I think “gee that party looks dead.” It really isn’t though.

The first that happened when I walked in before I took off my coat, before I approached the bar and found my baby was some stupid typical [hopefully new to NYC] hipster girl[I DON’T FUCKING KNOW] asked me if I sold weed.

DRUG LESSON ONE

Never buy drugs from strangers. Why? A. They might rip you off HARDCORE and you will be smoking grass that cows eat and snorting baby lax for real. B. Or you might get really fucked over and overdose because they give you something to fuck with you[there are bad people out there….I’ve been around the drug block a lot and have watch dealers do shit for fun..its fucked but it happens. C. They might be a narc. It’s rare but it happens. You fucking idiot.

But I had fun sitting by the bar dribbling[drunk + scribbling] and than eventually taking a..uh nap at Darkroom. I got to meet all my Wolfs friends. Big D told me I look like Tinkerbells cousin and I said he looks like Santa Clauses cousin. Brendon James and Sarah Lee said hi and I showed them pictures of me riding a horse.

I’ve taken a lot of naps in clubs and bars around NYC. I passed out in the Green Room[with that fabulous rain forest wallpaper] at Happy Valley one night after go-go-ing, I was made to take a nap in the room above the dj booth above riffi [not there anymore - we’re talking pre-renovation] because I showed up so wasted after a cupcake party with Bronques, I passed out in Misshapes due to a roofie, I’ve taken naps at lit while waiting to get paid, I took a nap while waiting for Johnny Love in the basement of Hiro and almost got kicked out…

And than theres all those times I’ve passed out on random peoples apts, subways, parks, restaurants, and even kind of broke into an apartment. Maybe this is why Frog is one of my Daddies. He falls asleep a lot too.

I mean I’m just really tired guys. Ever since I quit coke I have to drink a lot of red bull to stay awake and I’m really big on naps.

This is Wolf and I in costumes:

We are tissue dander. CLEARLY.

Happy Halloween! Be safe kids! Do the thizzle dance!

Disclaimer This is My opinion. This is my experience. You can take it as fact or not. Every image here is owned by me. Please check the first amendment. Also Raquel I am not jealous of you. I have a career, I’m in college and have strong group of family and friends[something you LACK] who support me.

Today I gave one of my best friends Jimi the ultimatum. Either me or his girlfriend.

He choose his girlfriend.

I’m devastated by the lost and by the fact that he would rather lose a good friend who has done nothing but look out for him and been there for him to a girlfriend like Raquel Reed.

The first few months Raquel Reed and Jimi were together and living at his moms house, Raquel Reed refused to get a job. She was too good to work most places and her neon hair & tattoos didn’t exactly help or that she got fired from her previous job at Patricia Fields for stealing[or as some have rumored - escorting] - neither did the fact that her lazy ass refused to do anything other than check her myspace obsessively[Jimi eventually got her a job at Mac…no she didn’t get the job herself]. So she’s living rent free, and not paying any money towards food or anything.

And just so you know - most those photoshoot she does are unpaid or if paid not that much money.

Being a “Scene-Queen” doesn’t exactly bring in the money. Just obsessive KIDS.

Raquel Reed and Jimi briefly broke up. When this happened Raquel Reed stole over a grand from Jimis bank account. Oh and when she got kicked out - she had nowhere to go. A millon myspace friends and barely any in real life that give a shit about you. None the less he took her back.

I didn’t like Raquel Reed and was vocal about this. Especially since Raquel Reed seems to think its ok to call girls who do porn demeaning names since she’s obviously so much better than us[hmmm whos not LIVING OFF OTHER PEOPLE..ME].

Jimi and I didn’t talk for about a month out my disgust for Raquel Reed.

When we started talking again I still had to deal with her. She would delete and screen messages I sent Jimi. Go on his screenname pretending to be Jimi and say fucked up shit to me. Jimi had to be “allowed” by Raquel Reed if he wanted to see me. One time I invited Jimi to videochate but he was in the shower so instead Raquel Reed went on and mooned me than exited.

That is how mature she is.

Eventually Jimi begged me to be nice with Raquel Reed…so being a good friend I sucked it up and tried put our shit behind us.

None the less Raquel Reed continued on with her obnoxious behavior and manipulation of one of my best friends.

Oh and by the way she lied to you Jimi about fucking him. You told me you’d breakup with her if this was true.

Here’s Raquel Reeds conversation about me to an unnamed source:

“bitch that stomps on crickets naked for a living” “drug addict whore business”

You know what Raquel Reed. FUCK YOU. YOU DON’T FUCKING KNOW ME. I don’t do drugs. I’ve been cleaner longer than your fucking boyfriend. And who cares what I do for a living - at least I make my own money instead of spending my boyfriends… Again, Raquel Reed - FUCK YOU. Please find the balls to call me a drug addict to my face and see what happens to your face[hint my hand is gonna be disgusting from all that makeup you wear].

Here’s some info on how Raquel Reed behaves in real life:

And I’ve had numerous professionals complain personally to me about how you act.

Also Raquel Reed your boyfriend doesn’t think highly of you and just so you know he flirts and proposes other girls for sex often.

Ouch?

I know you barely graduated high school but you really should work on your spelling skills. Some things you write are barely readable. It’s called spell check. And it’s your friend.

End of story. The lesson learned…it’s devastating to lose a friend to someone as low as Raquel Reed. Hopefully one day Jimi will break up with psycho and we can be friends again. Till than I don’t have time for this bullshit.

And again. Fuck. You. Raquel Reed. I hope you know karma is a true bitch.

Wanna sue me? Guess what that little song your brother posted is TRUE defamation of character.

Fuck you. I’m not sorry for anything I said. I don’t have time for POINTLESS law suits though. I have an actual CAREER AND COLLEGE TO FOCUS ON.