the_cone.jpgSeriously. I know you guys have been waiting on this review awhile. It’s taken this long because I hate this toy. It just sits around my apartment glaring at me because I have no idea where to put a cone shaped sex toy.

This toy sucks. And I had high expectations for it too. Even after lowering them it still sucks.

First off I tried all the positions it suggest[as pictured], the only comfortable one was “the bed wiggle”[lower right hand corner]. And even that didn’t get me off. There are like 16 different variety of vibration and stuff, none of them really felt that good and the only thing I liked was the light that turns on.

The cone is all about exploring new ways of getting off because the toy is not designed at all with the shape of your gentiles in mind and to even attempt to get off with it you gotta get yourself off with your fingers or throw a dildo in there.  Which makes the wall position really hard to pull off. Especially if you’re wearing stilettos.

photo-43.jpgThe only time I ever got wet with this thing was when I put it on my vagina and read some erotica but even than I eventually tossed it to the side and got off with my trusty 10 fingers.

The cone looks like some sort of space age sex toy and if this is what sex toys are like in the future count. me. out! It’s also really loud and in “orgasm mode” kind of sounds like a space ship.

If for some ungodly reason you are actually intrigued and want to buy this toy, buy it here. But I’d recommend SEVERAL other toys that are way cheaper and way more fun. Now I have no idea what to do with this thing, Mitch suggested using it as a door stop.

Five toys I recommend over this piece of shit:

  1. Jenna’s Velvet Jewels
  2. The Bitch vibrator
  3. Smart Balls
  4.  Flexi Felix
  5. Bettys Jelly Bumble Bee

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