photo-34.jpgI’m coming off some horrible pill that my dr decided to prescribe me and completely changed my personality, gave me headaches and plateaued my weight loss for two weeks.

Really fun.

No I mean like super awesome as in I took a bunch of shit earlier hoping to pass out for a couple hours to cure a headache and hate for the world.

I woke up at 11pm. Fuck. I’m annoyed that I didn’t set an alarm and I’m sure someone will email me or call me in a hour to tell me to take down this blog. Or within a day. I’m not writing anything against anyone just, ahem, sending out the wrong message.

Guess I’ll wake up early tmr and get shit done? I’ll be lurking Manhattan so be on the lookout.

I don’t know if I’m going upstate this weekend. It looks like I have to tie up strings instead of ride horses.

After the jump more on why I’m a horrible girlfriend and lonley and the fact that I want skateboarding lessons.

I’m kind of lonely. I haven’t gone more than a few months without a boyfriend or girlfriend of sorts since I was 16. I have consistently shared my bed on the regular with someone since I moved to NYC @ 18. I suppose it’s good to be single but I pile a lot of shit on the other side of my bed or just sleep on the couch because I’m still not used to sleeping alone. How do people do this on the regular? because I fucking suck at being single.

photo-36.jpgI guess it’s good for me but I miss having someone there all the time even though most men were complete superficial in being there. I used to have a body pillow. I should get another one. Relationships < Pillow. I miss being taken out on dates. Getting flowers. Taken to movies. Holding hands in parks smoking with crackheads. The romantic shit, ya know?

I also know I’m not the greatest person to date. I fuck other people. For money. On film. That will probably bother you.  And I will do it again and again and not change for you. I’m moody and like my alone time. I’m a recovering drug addict and can’t be around anyone who does cocaine or heroin. I’m anti social and will focus more on school and work than you. I have a cat that loves me but will probably beat the shit out of you. I’m paranoid. Not that you’re cheating on me but that there may be a warrant out for arrest or that my friend is over-dosing. My family is number 1 but I’m estranged from my brother and this breaks my heart everyday. I’m also scared you’ll get a hold of my parents home number and harass them after we break up despite the fact they know everything going down[thanks to the people who actually have done this by the way! you’re lucky my family doesn’t do senseless lawsuits]. I’m fucking out of my mind, and make weird shit and get girls naked for me  and have a pet pinata.

I think that men should get real jobs and real lives after the age of 25. Bar-tending is not a real job. DJ-ing is not a real job unless you’re Tiesto/God or Diplo aka making more money than me and/or producing as well. I can’t date people without real beds. I don’t date people who lack ambition, common sense and small dicks. Come to think of it, I don’t know why I’ve had so many boyfriends because I’m a total asshole to date. Most dudes want meek, yes yes yes women and I’m the opposite. I’m also not 18 anymore and in NYC the 21 - 27 crowd dates 18yr olds. Which means I should be dating people as old as my father at this point.

I do like giving blowjobs and/or eating snatch and taking romantic baths with high end organic products so I think I might have Some re-deeming qualities.

Fuck dating.

Will someone just give me free skateboarding lessons again?

I enjoy that a lot more than dating.

Also dating costs money. Fuck that. I rather put it toward my new tattoos, sex toys and couch[to sleep alone and single on ya know]?