Brad Walsh[junk-mag.com] threw a house party to show off his images. It was pretty nuts, Chris and I both got wasted. I chipped my tooth somehow. I haven’t been around much lately so everyone I saw was an “OMG WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN AFBJDHKLAUPORNJHGIRJ.” lulz. It was good to see lots of people I haven’t in for ev aaaa. And Sharon is now back living on the east coast! YAYThe Misshapes were dj-ing which was cool because if theres one thing the Misshapes do right it’s house parties. I remember couple years ago when their party got shut down and Geo invited everyone to their apartment. Alfie and I ended up falling into a limo where some B&T dudes gave us champagne and dropped us off. Than we drank a lot more and danced more. That was also the first time I met Julian. I was dancing on a table and he was trying to pictures up my skirt.

I managed to throw up twice[apparently once on my shoulder!] from the awful mixture of zygo and wine I had been drinking. Poor Chris didn’t and woke up with a hangover and me forcing him to pour milk on himself.

Hung out with Frog on Friday night and hilarity via videochat ensued.

Starting to come out of the dark clouds that seemed to have followed me since Yumnas breakup with me. I really need to not isolate myself when I’m down

Also the giftbags had Playgirl in them and I am now feeling inspired to take lots of dick pics.

I just vomited red bull and a handful of vitamins which is probably the most uncomfortable thing to puke up but this video made me laugh.

It’s 3am and I wake up to hear this song. This song was a huge part of my childhood….I can sing the lyrics to this day.
In a way this song always reminds me everything can and will be ok.

I created a little page for my modeling and performing - right here. It’s under construction but check it anyways.

Also I just signed up with Hardcore Modeling which considering Model Mayhems lack of tolerance towards erotica/porn might turn out to be a worthwhile site. We’ll see.

I’m still hurt by my loss of my friendship with Yumna. She was the one I could alway confide in without worry about being judged or exploited. She was always the friend I shared everything in my life with, the good the bad, I wanted her there always. To not have her has created a hole in my heart.

I’m working through it though. I brought some new plants, and had a mini shopping spree at Lush….em nice yummy bath bomb filled bath times always make me feel better. I really need one of those vibrator rubber duckies already!!! oh and I got an acid wash black hoodie from AA.
None the less…I’m still heartbroken.

Photo by the Lovely Brenda.

 I wish I had made it to Brenda’s gallery showing the other night. I’ve just been so anti social and sucked into reading lately. I was in it[plus a lot of amazing artists were showing!]:

And of course my favorite adult drawing boy is hanging out by my picture!

I peed in a cup for Burning Angel today.

That is me holding a cup of my own fresh warm piss.

Warning this video is disturbing[and not in the sexual nature]:

US Soldier throws puppy off cliff - Watch more free videos
I’m beyond mortified at what our troops do.
Throwing a puppy off a cliff…how could you ever do that?
I see a dog tied up on the street crying for its owner to come out of the store and I have to at least comfort it a little.

My ipod was on shuffle today and this song came on.
As happy and grateful I am for the love I am surrounded with I can’t help but be hurt by the fact that she dumped as a friend in such a immature way. It’s like I can hear the cackling laughter of obnoxious high school girls as I walk away from a relationship I invested a lot in.
I was always there for her if she needed me. Always. I was always thinking of her, thinking of silly knick knacks to send…
My painting teacher scolded me in class for being messy and painting a background neon green.

I never want to be someones bestfriend again becausethey need one.

There was a man outside my apt handing out condoms yesterday. “Free condoms, protect yourself, if not for you for your loved ones. Protect yourself from stds.”

I wish girls weren’t such stupid cunts. Seriously the majority of women I meet are such followers and so afraid to be themselves it’s incredibly disheartening. I don’t know I need to go to the Box or something and get out of this girl hating rut.

I want to paint over the wall on the other side of my office so bad but I have so many memories attached to it that it seems impossible. I think I want to shoot a couple girls in front of it than do a masturbation video in front of it..maybe than I will be ready to let go. I’m planning on making it into a mini library so the walls will be covered anyways. Maybe I should just designate a tagging wall in the apartment.
It is obscenely warm in NYC today. OBSCENE.

My mom wants a copy of this picture for the pub.

I hate school assignments.

so I’m watching Rock of Love and Bret takes a girl on a romantic date to a lingerie store. They have dinner in the store.

All right so my newest goal in life is to eat dinner in a lingerie or adult novelty store some day.

The trashier the better but I want a very expensive steak and champagne to contrast the environment.