I woke up today feeling really sick and spent the day in bed.

I missed Scotts birthday and getting my nipples pierced because I was too sick.

Than my best friend broke up with me. Via a livejournal community. She couldn’t even talk to me on the phone or text or im me. Still can’t.

I’m devastated.

I know I’m going to lose people with my life going where it’s going…and I just hope that people know that I am passionate about what I do, everything is my choice, and that I hope to impact the world in a positive way.

I got a lot of really good and exciting news this week and stuff is happening for me…and well this is just a fucking downpour on my parade.

Well I’ll be in LA march 14 - 18.

I guess that’s all for now…I feel so sick now.

R E S P E C T

anyone else get horny watching My So Called Life?

So I went to Boston and shot some bondage stuff. Nothing hardcore just me getting tied up.

Highlights include:

• Being shackled, handcuffed[and finger cuffed] and than having to find the key…I walked by the key three times!!! So embarrassing. The video will be hilarious because I actually just walk around in sexy clothes, laughing and getting frustrated. I do find it eventually and unlock myself[and no easy task necessarily given I did have thumb cuffs].
• Being locked into a large leather sack.
• Being tied to a bed.
• Yeah I guess I like being tied and locked to things. Getting paid is a plus. Do you like getting tied to things? Or tying girls up?
• Locking someone in a large leather sack..slightly harder than being locked into one.
• The amazing amount of glitter, bright fabrics and spandex worn.

Chris sent me this video of Jenna Jameson joking around at porn shoots. Love it!
Anyways…YELLE AT KNITTING FACTORY TOMORROW NIGHT. I’ve been itching to see her live for over a year now so I’m psyched.

IT TOOK ME FUCKING TEN MINUTES TO DO THIS FUCK:

Take the Which Britney Spears are You Quiz at QuizRocket.com!
Make Your Own Quiz
This is a picture of a book stuck in my ass I took ten minutes ago:

I’d tell you about last night but I don’t remember much. So in the comments could you please tell me what happened last night.

I may of made out with a tranny - just want confirm/deny on this.

Also crawled under the gates of Home Sweet Home, this is confirmed.

“This is why you white girls always be in the news”

I had an ill valentines day. Death & Co, Chris, porn, new cap….that’s all.

PS It’s so weird that my cat snores.

This is the most emo I will ever get regarding nightlife.

Just a warning!

Trash the party that is more to me than a party.

I was there last year at the 5th anniversary and will be there next year for the 7th.

I guess to truely understand this you need to go back in time. Fresh to nyc I had a fling with a dj and started dancing NC17 at Lit[DJ Jesses party]. Soon enough I started dancing at Trash…and I’ve been dancing there on and off for a long time. I’ve celebrated two birthdays there. Have more memories at this party than any other nightlife jump. Everyone who works there is amazing and genuine. Jess, Malfunction and Brendon were some of the first people to raise eyes at my drug abuse. When ever I had a shitty night at work or a great night at work … I would go to Trash because sometimes it’s nice to have an after work drink at 3am with friends. I have fond amusing memories of police raids. Makeouts and photoshoots in bathrooms. Dancing till you sweat so much you have to take clothes off.

Sure, the venue has changed[not the first time], the crowd has changed[not the first time] but there’s a reason Trash has been here six years. This a party that has evolved and changed over the years.

See the madness that happened last year at ambrel:

And see you tomorrow night. And be prompt - the live burlesque is not to be missed!

Van Gogh attends the rave:

I just watched the latest episode of The Girls Next Door and they went to the Sandals resort. Weird my parents go there all the time. Or Beaches - the non-couples version. I’ve even been there. And they went to Ricks Cafe - I’ve jumped the cliff there before. Weird. I kind of want to cliff jumping again.

Having my septum pierced is giving new meaning to the phrase “you keeping your nose clean?” - now it could mean “you still clean of drugz” or “dude you keeping them crusties off your ring?”

Anyways I want a new piercing already - either my vagina or nipples. I got the itch lets scratch it.

Um Valentines Day is so lame. I used to work at Hallmark…it’s truely a day made for companys to profit off relationship insecurities. After all does you boyfriend really love you if he doesn’t buy you a heart shaped box of chocolates?

It’s kind of cool in that way that lots of heart shaped shit is on clearance afterwards…in that way I like how a bunch of cool shit is on clearance after Halloween.

I got over $300 of stuff from Lomography the other day. I got a bunch of shit to pimp out my holgas[I got a new one and I have an old one I’m converting to 35mm]. This is my new camera:

Love it. Anyways I’ve been on the lomo bug since I was 14…long before it got raped by Urban Outfitters. It’s more than a photography store/company, it’s a society about rethinking the way we photograph.

Speaking of raping Urban Outfitters…I really really really want this bathing suit:

I can already see myself sunbathing and writing on my parents upper porch. Ahhhh bring me Spring.

xoxo

Gossip Girl

Dances With White Girls / Frog / Daddy 1 has started a dance group. He is looking for dancers. Contact him here.
I won’t be participating because I’m busy with my shit but I support this 100%.

Also EARLY HYPE LETS GO TO THE RAVE EVERYONE:

If you support artists and don’t want them living on the streets and losing their homes please sign this petition.
SIGN ME
Here’s an article regarding the situation.
I’ve shot a good deal of porn here and hung with artists residing there. Everyone is good peoples, please support them and help them out. Thank you.

It’s fucking FREEZING.
Anyways no hatarade this week. I really don’t feel like having people mothers call me anymore. Unless it’s to arrange a playdate because that’s the last time I can remember my mother talking on the phone for me.
Pussy Pussy Pussy
Motherfuckers!
All right I have to go to a meeting…ugh I don’t want to go outside it’s soooo chilly!

edit////

chris caught me cutting my left ear off:

random image of me from body painting shoot:

Also I want this week to feel like this: