I BROKE MY PHONE AND LOST ALL MY CONTACTS.

PLEASE EMAIL YOUR NUMBER TO BABYSINEAD@GMAIL.COM

THANK YOU.

Seriously. Lately it’s becoming clearer and clearer to me who my true friends are, people who support me in my successes as well as failures, people who don’t judge me, people who respect me enough to come to me with a problem regarding me…not act like children and pretend nothing is wrong until they post in a livejournal community.

I’m hurting pretty bad, although our relationship was first built on drugs - but I had come to truely love and cherish this girl. In breaking our friendship, she has broken my heart and contributed to my ongoing problems with trusting jawns. See I like girls. I’m sexually attracted to females and could have a relationship with one. The problem is I find girls hard to trust as they are never real about issues in the relationships or I feel like eventually they choose a man over me. Both Frog, my brother, and many other people had to listen to me cry on last night that I feel like a bad gay because of this and also since said girl claims I took advantage of her. Yet the thing is … I’ve reevaluated the situation many times in my head, yes I was drunk and so was she but she had proposed I do what I did to her earlier in the night. I don’t remember any nos but I clearly remember a lot of “fuck me harders.” I guess I’m just really hurt that someone has been so influenced by others of close minded origins to not be ok with her sexuality no longer that she would say the things she said.

Also I would never take advantage of someone. I’ve been a victim of both rape and being roofied…I wouldn’t even wish that upon my worst enemy. No means no.

I guess we did grow apart - it was apparent when I visited Fl…she would rather sit and text people than talk to me. When I came back she was aloof, and I tried to talk to her, tried to check on her but alas she avoided me. I actually sent her a text message regarding the fact that I was worried a known kelpto staying at her house would disrespect her as he had many of my friends… I come to find a few hours later that she posted in a livejournal community that she was breaking up with me. Why we couldn’t be adults and reach an understanding on the phone…I don’t know.

And yes, you got your wish. I have not named you once in this entry because I actually still have feelings for you and won’t drag your name threw dirt. I’m sure if you continue to proceed on in your life the way you are now…you’ll do a good enough job of that for yourself.

I just wish you hadn’t lied and manipulated me.

Oh and my tooth chipped while eating a sandwich today and I missed my drs apt.

I haven’t been to school once this week. Earlier in the week due to career over school, now I’m just too stressed to leave the house.

Can everyone just send me cat macros?