Periods and Pregnacy Scares: Two Things That Mens Balls Hurt

I swear everytime I get freaked out and convince myself I might be preggors because my period is an hour, day, month late I go out and buy a test.
Within 24 hours of peeing on that fucking stick I always get my period.
Seriously what gives? And why don’t they make reusable tests? I hate blowing $10 to find out I’m not pregnate and don’t have to go through that bloddy mess that is abortions[pun intended].
Next time I have anxiety over the possiblity of having some disgusting featus in me I’m going to psyhch my vagina out. Fuck you vagina. I’m going to pee on a popcilce stick. And then get my period the next day.
Also whats with getting mad horny once your period starts? Seriously when I’m PMS-ing I want nothing to do with sex. Male, female, vibrator. I want nothing. The second my vagina becomes a blood donation center I want to fuck more than a rabbit.
And for anyone feeling nostalgic:
Periods are so annonying. You know in the porn industry we shove sponges up there when you have to do a scene on your period. Think of that next time your jerking off.
Also whats with alt. period shit like luna pads and the keeper/moon cup? I feel like I should get some and try them out for the sake of all women reading this blog. The idea of wearing a pad icks me out though. I don’t think I could roll with REUSEABLE pads. Cleaning my own menstrual cycle out of a pad…god I just don’t know about that. And the keeper. Having a cup in my vagina collecting my period blood. Apparently a lot of women take advatage of this and use it in art. I on the other hand think this would be a great opportunity to throw my menstrual blood at people I don’t like.
In non-menstrual news - I’m shooting a car calendar tommorow and am done with the semester!
Frog just called to hollar about a show tonight but instead I’m going to stay in and meditate about menstrual cycles.






December 13th, 2007 at 3:39 am
hahahahaha.
That is possibly the greatest thing Ive ever read.
When I had a pregnancy scare, I bought like 3 ghetto ones from the dollar store. Next day I started bleeding.
You’re a fun lady.
PS
If you do indeed throw your blood at someone, photo proof would be about as rad as rad can get. kthanx.
December 13th, 2007 at 3:41 am
haha, oh yeah.
I’m on BA with you.
and I didnt know how to work this comment box, really. haha
December 13th, 2007 at 4:05 am
See I’d go the dollar store stick way but I have the same theory I have with dollar stick condoms as I do with pregnacy tests..which is they breed white trash children at an exceptional rate.
I do often go with the store brand test but I always feel like it’s not as good as the offcial EPT.
Fuck these motherfuckers making money off my paranoia and anxiety.
And girrrl your hot, lets do a video together - I already get off to you naked.
If someone donates a keeper to me I will throw my menstrual blood around. No Joke.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:08 am
You crack my ass up sinead
when girls I know are having their period, I say they’re having their “bless’ed event” for some reason I think it really funny to call it that.
December 13th, 2007 at 6:50 pm
I know a bunch of people who swear by the keeper/diva cup. Some of them use menstrual blood as fertilizer for plants in their garden, which apparently works really well.
Also, reusable pads are really easy to make yourself, which saves a bunch of money and avoids all of the horrible shit in tampons (bleach, etc etc).
December 14th, 2007 at 12:54 am
you get horny due to the rush of hormones.
they’re saying,
‘Hey! GET FUCKED! THE EGG IS HERE ZOMG!1!!’
also, lulz at tiny dick,
and old video is oooooooooold!
i think you know who this is ^__*
December 19th, 2007 at 6:16 am
i have used the divacup for a year, and i like it a lot. i don’t know how much you use your lj account anymore, but there is a community on there called menstrual_cups. looking at posts and comments can answer a lot of questions you may have. also, if you want to try something in between a cup (that you use “forever”) and a tampon/pad (that you throw away), you could try instead. it is a cup that is disposable… so you don’t have to clean it out and whatever. if you go to their website, you can email them and ask for a free sample.